Accept What God Allows
I know the title sounds harsh but let me explain...
In October, I preached at my home church in Tallahassee, Florida. In the weeks leading up to that Sunday morning, I wrestled with my message. I wanted to preach a feel good message about victory or expecting a miracle in three days. However, that’s not my ministry. And consequently, the Lord didn’t give me peace. Still, hoping the Lord would change His mind, I put off studying for a few days. Four days before the service, I finally surrendered and asked God what He wanted to say to His people. Immediately, the Spirit answered and prompted me to share what I’d been going through.
As I began studying, I kept hearing, “Accept What God Allows.” I didn’t like it. I wanted to make the congregation dance and run around the building! I didn’t want to come off as insensitive, I wanted them to like me. Despite the subject, I tried my best to make it come off as a feel-good message. When most preachers teach about trusting God in the midst of adversity, it’s rarely from the standpoint of God’s sovereignty. And yet, that’s what God wanted me to do.
When I woke up that Sunday morning, I had a sharp, catching pain in my back that occurred every time I looked to the left. I remember asking God, “How am I supposed to preach if I can’t look to the left without wincing in pain?” His response was the morning’s message, “Accept What God Allows.” An hour or so before service, I realized my son wasn’t feeling very well. And strangely, he was wheezing a little. My mom and I “doctored” on him and I believed that as I preached, God would heal him. Thankfully, as I spoke from the pulpit, my son slept peacefully in my mom’s arms.
After service, my son came to me and I noticed he was wheezing more. In addition, his stomach was moving in and out abnormally fast. So, I decided to take him to Urgent Care. However, as I was scheduling the appointment, he looked at me and cried. I’ll never forget the look on his face, it almost broke me. I interpreted the pained looked and wailing cry as something more serious was happening in his body and decided to take him to the emergency room instead. After three rounds of breathing treatments, his breathing wasn’t as improved as the Doctor had hoped. They believed he was still working too hard to breathe. “The worse thing I could do is let a perfectly healthy little boy go home with breathing problems,” the Doctor advised. “We’ll do whatever you think is best,” I replied. And with that, we were admitted for overnight observation.
As I laid in the hospital bed, holding my son close as he played on his tablet, I admired his peace and how unbothered he seemed despite the seriousness of the situation. At the same time, I struggled to keep a lid on the anxiety that threatened to overtake me. I hated that this was happening without Superman at my side because it meant I had to be strong for our son. I closed my eyes and thought about how quickly the day had turned. That morning I was preaching, telling the congregation how to accept what God allows, praying with the ones who came to the altar and even selling books after service. Then, I remembered the Word I’d spoken that morning, “Accept What God Allows.” I couldn’t help but laugh at how quickly I’d have to practice what I’d preached. So, I used the points I’d given to the congregation hours earlier, to encourage myself:
Act on Biblical principles, not human wisdom
I separated the facts from my feelings. Although I felt hopeless for not being able to help my son or make him feel better, God’s love for him is a fact. Even more, God also calls him son, which makes him a joint heir with Christ. And that means, healing is his birthright!
Feast on God’s faithfulness
I reminded myself that God has healed my son before. From fevers to the flu to stomach bugs to severe allergic reactions, God healed him. If God healed then, He can certainly heal again.
Surrender
I couldn’t understand why God was allowing this to happen but I stopped trying to figure it out. The anxiety made me feel antsy and paranoid. So, I let go of my will and how I wanted things to turn out and asked God for peace. Then, I chose to enjoy the impromptu “vacation day” with my son.
Later that night, I learned that I’d won the ACHI Magazine Award for Orator of the Year. My mom and dad attended the award ceremony in my stead and my mom accepted the award on my behalf. I’m so happy she encouraged me to write a just-in-case-you-win acceptance speech! The next day, my son was released from the hospital without a prescription or need for continued care! God is faithful. That experience taught me that trusting God means living, walking, working, moving, etc. by faith, even when the Lord does not offer an explanation. I have to trust that there is purpose in my pain and that the end result will be for my good and His glory.
I know it’s easier to see Christ as a Father and Savior. Who wouldn’t worship a God so loving, forgiving and full of grace? However, He’s also King. That means He has the power to do what He wants, when He wants. Most of the time, we enjoy that side of God when it works in our favor. However, if you’re going to be in a healthy, progressive relationship with the One who possesses all power (sovereign), you must learn to accept what He allows and that means teaching your heart to trust Him more.