Ring the alarm!
On Thursday, June 9th, I was loading the washing machine when I got a call from a colleague. It was unusual to get a work call that early - which should’ve been my clue that something was wrong - but it wasn’t. So, I welcomed the early phone call because of who was calling and answered with a cheerfully. Ignoring me, the person on the other end of the phone announced that the employee I’d been recently coaching and encouraging through a tough season, had committed suicide.
“What?!” I yelled, thinking I’d heard the wrong name. After the caller confirmed that I’d heard correctly, they began to explain what happened. I was speechless. And when the call ended, I didn’t know whether to yell or cry, so I did both.
All I could think about was my last meeting with that employee. And though she’d been feeling the effects of a tough season, she’d also seemed hopeful, willing to do whatever it took to endure and overcome. We’d laughed, even joked, about some of the things she’d experienced. Not once had she seemed hopeless, unwilling to fight, or even weak.
For days, I replayed our last conversation in my head. Did I say enough? Did I do enough? Did I miss any warning signs? Where was my discernment? Did I miss opportunities to follow up or reach out? And why did God allow this to happen? She’d already overcome so much, why was this the thing that broke her? How did she get to the point that she decided that death was better than life? Dissatisfied with the answers I came up with, I numbed myself with worship music and shopping. (Weird combination I know - one was to remind me of the goodness of God despite my sadness and disappointment, the other was to help me forget what happened for a few hours).
Then last week, I met another woman, through a mutual friend, who’s also experiencing a tough season. The day we met, I listened as the woman bared her soul. Then, I encouraged her and prayed for her. Yesterday, I got a call from our mutual friend who told me that the woman had attempted suicide.
This time, I only had one question: “What can I do to prevent this from happening to another woman?” And the answer was simple: “Your life is an answer to a problem, live responsibly and accordingly. Minister with urgency.” These events have been the spiritual alarm, I didn’t know I needed, to stop procrastinating and produce every seed God planted inside of me.
People are dying and/or losing to battles that many of us have overcome. And our ministries and spiritual gifts are literally answers to help someone else make it another day, try again, start over, be stronger, be delivered, etc. Let’s not waste any more time or opportunities to live both responsibly and accordingly. Do what God has told you to do, and do it with a sense of urgency. Your audience is waiting, heaven is waiting…