Chile, rest!
The month of May is always a busy, but exciting, time of year for my family. We celebrate my wedding anniversary, sonshine #1’s birthday, Mother’s Day, my mother-in-love’s birthday, and this year, my sister’s wedding was added to the mix.
Strangely, while May was uniquely busy this year, it was also uniquely a time of rest. Near the beginning of the month, I felt a tangible push to take a break from certain things. Specifically, I decided to free myself from the activities that triggered my impulse to over-produce, over-achieve, and over-analyze. As a result, I spent more time with my family, I had several thought-provoking conversations with my husband, I played with my sonshines on the playground, and I indulged in other interests that I’d ignored.
I thought resting would make me feel lighter, but it actually made me feel antsy. And I was often overwhelmed with the idea that if I wasn’t working, that meant I was forgetting to do something important. I even asked my therapist for suggestions to fill my time and that conversation sparked some much needed self-exploration. I realized that I’d never seen the women in my family rest. I’ve witnessed them literally work through job loss, death, divorce, pain, etc. Sickness was the only thing that demanded them to rest.
While watching the women in my family taught me perseverance, it didn’t teach me how to rest. And perhaps that’s why resting has always been difficult for me. In the past, getting sick was my signal that rest was needed. Thankfully, I didn’t have to get sick this month to know I needed to rest. Instead, when I felt the Holy Spirit tug on my heart, as I’m sure He’s done many times in the past, I didn’t ignore it and I decided to comply. So, to better take care of myself I’m changing the way I think about rest so I recognize that it’s a need, not a reward. I don’t work in exchange for rest. I deserve rest as a result of my work. Moving forward, here’s what I’m going to do differently to increase my familiarity with rest:
Take short breaks throughout the day.
Create space in my brain through journaling and exercise whenever I feel overwhelmed or anxious.
Give myself extra time to disconnect.
Practice Matthew 11:28-30 daily: "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
“There is virtue in work and there is virtue in rest. Use both and overlook neither.” — Alan Cohen