Your Way is Better

“You can make many plans, but the Lord’s purpose will prevail.” - Proverbs‬ ‭19‬:‭21‬ ‭NLT‬‬

This scripture accurately describes my pregnancy and birth story.

We planned. God laughed (or maybe grunted). His purpose prevailed.

As a family already blessed with two Sonshines, naturally, we thought this pregnancy would bring us a little girl. But more than anything, we just wanted a healthy baby, healthy Mommy after delivery.

With that being said, it shouldn’t have been a surprise that during the entire 40 weeks of my pregnancy, I never had a firm conviction about what we were having. It was like the moment we decided not to find out the gender until birth, the Holy Spirit said “Bet.” And I never had a set “sense” or “feeling”. Even more, the ultrasound photos were rarely clear and Baby seemed to always be hiding its face. There were never any clues or insights into who Baby could be. Strangely, it was like my body even lined up with our desire to not know the gender because I had no major cravings or significant pregnancy symptoms to sway me one way or another. This pregnancy was so unique and distinct from my previous experiences that we were still very surprised at delivery.

Growing up, it didn’t matter whether I was a #boymom or a #girlmom. I just wanted to be a Mom. But at some point during this pregnancy, I’d begun to tell myself that I needed a daughter. “What kind of woman has a women’s ministry without a daughter?” I often asked God. “How can I be qualified to nurture and care for other people’s daughters without the experience of caring for my own daughter?” I questioned. “Who will inherit my ministry? Will it die with me? Won’t it all be for nothing if I don’t have anyone to pass the baton to?”

Of course, God never answered my questions prior to delivery. And even now, as I hold our third Sonshine in my arms, I still haven’t received answers to those questions. But what I have received since I gave birth is a renewed assurance that God’s plans for me weren’t suddenly or recently determined. The moment I found out I was pregnant was not the same moment God decided He would bless me with another Sonshine. No, His plans for me predate my birth, they were determined from the beginning of time (Ephesians 2:10). All I have to do is walk in them.

So as Community Music declares in their song, “Make Room,”:

“…I will make room for You
To do whatever You want to
…Your way is better…”

I have no idea what adventures lie in wait for me as I nurture and care for three beautiful black boys in their development to become three handsome black men. I have no blueprint from my Mother to glean from and no cheat sheet from friends to borrow. All I have is a God who freely gives wisdom whenever I ask, plus His grace to fulfill the roles and responsibilities He’s entrusted to me.

So, here’s to allowing and trusting God to do what He wants to, when He wants to, where He wants to, and how He wants to because He’s God. His way is better…