As our family began to share one-by-one, it was hard to choose something to share. And not because I don’t have much to be thankful for, but because I couldn't narrow it down to just one thing.
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On this week’s episode of “I Didn’t Come Here for This,” I’m seriously considering firing my nail tech.
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“What kind of woman has a women’s ministry without a daughter?” I often asked God.
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Although the face and voice of the person was familiar, the spirit behind their behavior was not. So, this time, I noticed the deflection. I noticed the lack of accountability. I noticed the ignorance. I noticed the indifference. And I noticed the absence of an apology.
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There’s a difference between doing things for God, and doing things with God.
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This self-induced defense mechanism of spiritual regression wreaks so much havoc on your life as you attempt to protect yourself from anxious thoughts or feelings, and try to assure yourself that you’re psychologically safe.
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For example, whenever there is a transition and/or shift happening in my life, it’s usually accompanied by other transitions and/or shifts.
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It felt like I’d won the war, but lost the battle. The only way I can describe how I felt is like the ending of the movie 300. Although the Spartans won, nothing was ever the same because they all died on the battlefield.
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This year, several experiences triggered memories and feelings held by the little girl in me that I thought the adult me had suppressed years ago.
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A piece of me died this month. And it's kind of ironic considering that September marked another year of life, health and strength for me.
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No matter the instructions, the outcome remained the same: God spoke. I disobeyed. Satan won.
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If I obey God and the result of my obedience isn’t welcomed by others, overflowing in success, plentiful in opportunity, abounding in favor, etc., I tell myself, “I must’ve misunderstood God’s instructions.”
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