Controversial Ministry
A few weeks ago, while planning for the Church Girls Tell All event, I became discouraged. Despite my marketing efforts, tickets weren’t selling as I’d imagined. Everyone seemed to support the event idea and the topic, however, many failed to make the financial commitment. And interestingly, for the first time ever, I actually prayed about my marketing strategy. I want this event to be so life-changing, I need God’s say so regarding every detail. Instantly, the Lord answered my prayer with an idea for a social media campaign for Church Girls Movement. He answered so quickly, I could barely get out the shower fast enough to jot down what He’d given me.
Thankfully, the campaign has increased engagement with my content significantly. It has also increased my following, almost daily. And yet, none of this has translated into increased tickets sales. Honestly, it’s frustrating. I’ve done everything in my power to make the marketing of this event a success. I prayed about it and used the witty idea God gave me! And yet, ticket sales aren’t what I anticipated.
In March, I’ll celebrate three years of the Church Girls Movement being in existence. March also marks the third year I’ve put myself out there, planned events for specific audiences, hoping they would see the event announcement and decide to attend. I’ve had free events and ticketed events. Still, the registration period for each event unfolds the same. “Will they or won’t they?” Then, that familiar anxiety arises, threatening to linger until event day arrives. As I plan each event, I always ask myself, “What if they don’t come?”
For some reason, that nagging question always makes me question whether God told me to do the event or if I made it up. Although I’m always sure I have God’s permission to host an event, if the response doesn’t measure up to my expectation, I immediately become unsure. Then, I question my walk with God altogether. Did I hear Him? Did my pride convince me that He told me to do this?Do I recognize His voice from mine? Did I miss Him?
So, while I sat in my car a few weeks ago sulking about the ticket sales, I couldn’t believe all my hard work seemed to be in vain. I’d made a great effort in every area I could think of, practically and business-wise, but seemingly to no avail. And on top of all that, I’ve never experienced such noticeable opposition while preparing for an event. Recently, the words “rebellious,” “frustrated,” and “hurt” have been used to describe me. So, naturally, I thought about canceling the event several times. I’ve even thought about the excuses I’d give the speakers when I informed them that the event wasn’t happening. Then suddenly, the Spirit gut-punched me, correcting me about three things:
This isn’t my event, it’s His. It was inspired and created by Him, for His glory. He called me to do the work on His behalf but He chose the topic and the speakers. Therefore, I don’t have the right to cancel the event without His consent.
The public response isn’t a rejection of me, it’s a rejection of Him. It doesn’t matter how the Lord makes Himself available or known to mankind, they have to accept Him. God isn’t pushy or forceful, He must be invited.
My ministry isn’t easy, it’s controversial. It requires a willingness to be honest and transparent to identify and address errors and an ability to be vulnerable to seek deliverance and healing. Everyone isn’t going to be honest, transparent, and/or vulnerable. Everyone isn’t ready. On the other hand, some may be ignorant while others are simply indifferent.
Later, Superman reminded me that every addict isn’t ready to admit they have an addiction. However, Alcoholic’s Anonymous (AA) exists for the addicts who are ready for healing and deliverance. Similarly, everyone thought Noah was crazy for building the ark until it rained. The need or benefit of the Church Girls Movement may not be clear or known to the masses yet but it is for an appointed time. And though it tarries, I’ll wait for it. (Habakkuk 2:3) Until then, I’ll keep building with God’s help, so the Movement will be available when needed.
Although my pride would have me think otherwise, Church Girls Tell All is not about me. I’m praying that whoever needs this event will be in attendance, anyone else may be a distraction. If there are only two or three of us, the Bible assures me that the Spirit will be there too. And if one person is changed by what they hear, God will be glorified. So, although my ministry may seem controversial to some, I won’t stop because of the ones who don’t get it. I’ll keep going for the ones who do.