Spiritual Fragility
Several weeks ago, a woman sent me a sermon she thought I might enjoy. While I’m sure she recommended the sermon for a specific reason, the sermon actually resonated with me for a completely different reason, in a way that only the Holy Spirit could orchestrate.
Weeks later when I finally decided to watch the sermon online, I was talking back to the Pastor as if I was attending the service in person! My living room was filled with “Amens,” “Preach,” “Say that,” “That’s good,” and more. I was soaking up every word until the Pastor said: “Some of us are too fragile for God’s glory…We think being “chosen” or “called” is equivalent to receiving special privileges.”
I can’t explain it, but I knew that statement was for me.
You see, during that time I was planning the April A Day at The Well event for the Well Woman Movement. I had done all I could to encourage registration, but it felt like I’d hit a brick wall. So my prayer during that time had been “Lord, what am I missing? Did I misstep?” I’d spent days reviewing my steps to determine my mistake. However, I could never pinpoint the place where I slipped.
Then, I heard the sermon. And immediately, my spirit recognized the statement,“Some of us are too fragile for God’s glory,” as the answer to my prayer.
The word “fragile” is defined a few ways:
(of an object) easily broken or damaged
flimsy or insubstantial; easily destroyed
(of a person) not strong or sturdy; delicate and vulnerable
Honestly, my first reaction to hearing I’m “too fragile for God’s glory” was indignation. How dare the Holy Spirit accuse me of being too fragile? After everything I’ve experienced for the sake of ministry, I’m too fragile? I was insulted. Then, the second part of Pastor’s statement echoed in my head, “We think being “chosen” or “called” is equivalent to receiving special privileges.” In that moment I realized that “special privileges” could also refer to me thinking that I’m ineligible to be “called out,” and in need of no improvement, no constructive criticism, no correction.
And because the need for no grace or mercy invalidates my need for salvation, I decided it was better to humble myself and allow the Holy Spirit to show me, me. So, I asked the Lord, “What area(s) am I too fragile for your glory?” He immediately answered: money.
Admittedly, I wasn’t shocked by the answer. Before I got married, I was very conservative with money for fear of not having enough or it running out. But since I’ve been married, and specifically to a man with the gifts of faith and giving, I’m not as conservative as I once was. Still, there are some areas of my money that had still been unavailable to the Lord. Instead of allowing the Lord to use my financial astuteness for His glory, I’ve been hoarding areas of my prosperity for my will, my gain, and my security.
It took a few days but when I finally decided to surrender all of my money for the Lord’s use, I received unexpected donations and had eight women register for April’s A Day at The Well! It was the largest one I’ve hosted since we started the one-day retreat in October 2023.
It’s not enough to allow the Lord to access some areas of our life, to fully surrender to His will requires us to grant Him complete access to every area of our life to be used for His glory. No rights reserved. And until we combat spiritual fragility in every area, we prevent Him from performing what’s needed to give us victory and Him the glory.
So, it may not be that the Lord isn’t ready to heal you from your pain, rescue you from your affliction, or deliver you from your suffering. No, perhaps you are still too fragile to endure what your rescue may require.
**Breaking free from financial fragility also opened the door for me to get the biggest house we’ve ever had to host The Well 2024 retreat! Don’t miss this exciting opportunity to join me and other women of faith for a long weekend away at a women’s retreat about God, for you.